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Humor Quotes

Corporate Lady Looking Up And Laughing - Humor Quotes - Data GovernanceAs you can probably tell from our popular cartoon section, we at the Data Governance Institute are firm believers in the old adage “A Laugh a Day Keeps the Data Professional From Snapping and Going Full On ‘Office Space’ on the Company Printer.” Man, that old maxim is just timeless. So much of our lives are taken up by serious matters; serious work, serious meetings, serious bosses, serious messes in the break room… With all of that, don’t you think we seriously need to laugh too?

Some of the quotes below are about business, some are about life, all of them are about laughing at the absurdity of it all. Enjoy!

All generalizations are false, including this one.

– Mark Twain 

Bill Gates is a very rich man today… and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: Versions.

– Dave Barry 

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy

– Joseph Campbell 

Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.

– Mark Twain  

Do not trust any statistics you did not fake yourself.

– Winston Churchill 

Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?

– Al Boliska 

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

– Oprah Winfrey 

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don’t.

– Pete Seeger 

Every day, three times per second, we produce the equivalent of the amount of data that the Library of Congress has in its entire print collection, right? But most of it is like cat videos on YouTube or 13-year-olds exchanging text messages about the next Twilight movie.

– Nate Silver 

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.

– Alice Kahn 

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

– Mark Twain 

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts – for support rather than for illumination.

 – Andrew Lang 

How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?

– Logan P. Smith 

I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.

– Peter De Vries 

I’m sorry this letter is so long, but I did not have time to make it shorter.

– Mark Twain 

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

– W. C. Fields 

In times like these when unemployment rates are up to 13%, income has fallen by 5%, and suicide rates are climbing I get so angry that the government is wasting money on things like collection of statistics!

– From Hans Rosling’s The Joy of Stats 

It is very sad that nowadays there is so little useless information.

– Oscar Wilde 

People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.

– Thomas Sowell 

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds.

– John Perry Barlow 

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

– Albert Einstein 

There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.

– Mark Twain 

To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.

– Albert Einstein 

What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.

– Kitty O’neill Collins 

When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

– Stephen Wright

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